Ambien.
In some ways it was more destructive to my life than heroin. Mostly though because of the people who were around. Most of it I really don't remember, but it's kind remembering a dream, things can remind you of bits and you can start to piece together something of what happened.
I remember at dinner with friends one night, my ex J boasted about how glad he was that I took ambien because he got so much more sex than he would otherwise.
I sat there feeling like I'd swallowed a boulder….

While i slept