Controlled by the monster who hides within.Destroying me with each passing day. Fight to conquer fight to win only to fall back and fail.Why can't I survive? 15 years of rape and other abuse. He is the most severe form of narcicist I have ever seen.Many times he threw me aside when he finished.Til this day I feel I am still in it as the memories plague me.Wanting to end my life so I no longer have to suffer with the horrible pain and flashes and nightmares