There is a part of my rape memory that I can't access. I can't feel anything about it. Anytime I try to go there, I panic and freeze up/no thoughts, can't breathe.
Here is what I am wondering, and why does it matter to me? Did my body have a physical orgasm response during this part of the rape?
I know that I never had one in my previous experiences. I specifically know that I had one when I was 20, summer after my sophomore year.
So, back to the rape. I don't know. My flashbacks…