I was sexually assisted by 3 males at the age of 19, one was consensual before I blacked out, the other two were not. Since then, I have been extremely aroused by BDSM, enjoy role playing situations where I am dominated and can only ever reach orgasm if during sex I am fantasizing about rape. I am worried that the only reason I like this type of sex is because what happened to me, and that makes me feel disgusted as though a part of me "liked it". Have others had this experience too?