How do you find a therapist when symptoms are severe and you have suicidal thoughts?

I'm scared that nobody will want to treat me and they will tell me to go to the hospital because I'm too severe. The hospital has a history (three times now!) of releasing me once I'm medically cleared (after a suicide attempt) and I never even see the psych ward. (Full up Ward or do they think all that really was an accident? I don't know.)

I fear that I'm stuck in no mans land of too serious a case for…

How do you find a therapist when suicidal?