I've really resisted making this connection until now.
I've been reading on an antiporn blog about certain gross roleplay fetish that my abusive exbf was into, forced me to do, and I went along for all the reasons abused people do, and about how damaging child abuse is because it's a person you trust, everything is normal, you can't reconcile the violation with the trust.

I don't know if this is post hoc interpretation of my mental disturbances… I know I didn't knowingly get involved…

Sleep/mood disturbances started after this incident