MyPTSD Blog

A post traumatic stress disorder community.

New Here — December 8, 2016

New Here

hiya everyone,

I am dying inside. I struggle every single day. I go to psychodynamic therapy every week. I have a boyfriend of 4 years, who doesn't know about how I'm on the edge everyday of my life, he just tells me I'm ruining his day, I had something really horrendous happen to me 10 years ago and I never recovered, I was 11 years old, I was brutal tortured amongst other things, almost daily I relive the feeling of (I think I just probably *trigger warning* here) my stomach being slashed…

New Here

Trying To Eean Myself Off Zanax —
Forcing Myself To Recover —

Forcing Myself To Recover

I feel like I am forcing myself to recover. I'm fast running out of time with my leave and I really don't like the idea of being unemployed, not that anyone does.
I'm conflicted.
– Am I so afraid of being unemployed that I am willing to go back without feeling my best?
– will returning to a normal life help speed my recovery?
– Can I set boundaries so that I can return on a limited basis and still build balance in my life?
– How do I convince my family that this is what I need to do…

Forcing Myself To Recover

What Is Your Subjective Units Of Distress (suds) Rating Right Now? —

What Is Your Subjective Units Of Distress (suds) Rating Right Now?

Self-awareness is critical to PTSD recovery.

Instead of being completely absorbed in our suffering it is helpful to learn to evaluate our subjective states.

"Here is one version of the scale:

10 = Feels unbearably bad, beside yourself, out of control as in a nervous breakdown, overwhelmed, at the end of your rope. You may feel so upset that you don't want to talk because you can't imagine how anyone could possibly understand your agitation.

9 = Feeling desperate. What most…

What Is Your Subjective Units Of Distress (suds) Rating Right Now?

Woman With Ptsd. —

Woman With Ptsd.

They just passed a law, legalizingMMJ in Florida. I am a retired RN. I was an operator, in an oil refinery , before that. 1973_1984.
I was a firefighter also at the OIL REFINERY.
In 1979 I fought a huge fire, in the Houston Ship Channel. SSChevron-Hawaii, lightining hit it, and we fought the fire for 10 hours. I was the only woman on the fire crew at that time.Affirmative Action, made them hire women in 1973. I was the first woman to work there, since WW2.
I had 5…

Woman With Ptsd.

Using Mdma Against Ptsd —

Using Mdma Against Ptsd

Hi everyone,

sorry to invade this plave but I was wondering if any of your doctors ever gave you MDMA for your PTSD?
I am trying to find out what it does to you, because I think my brother is using it to fight his PTSD.
If you have ever tried it or your doctor has given you some could you please tell me what it did to you, cause my brother is acting really strange and I dont trust it. :(

The Story Of Priory Road —

The Story Of Priory Road

I feel ready to tell the story of priory road , anfield , liverpool. I dreamt I was there again last night it was so realistic for a moment i thought i really was. its strange though i only spent a couple of weeks of my whole life there. but the place has a hold on me. It seems a part of me has never left priory road.

The story goes like this. when in my later teens I found out my mother was living in priory road. I had never lived with her since she abandoned me. I decided I wanted to now….

The Story Of Priory Road

Vague Memories Of Being Ragefully Spanked A Lot —

Vague Memories Of Being Ragefully Spanked A Lot

I am working on extreme spanking issues from my childhood days. I am told it had gone for about 7 years but I only recall that it happened many times and it seemed like weekly over a period of several years. My dad would explode and drag us off to our room for a spanking / belting, sometimes times it would be on the steps. He was not the one-two type, he really dumped his anger on my sisters and me. When I asked him about it recently he only recalls doing it a couple of times. Where was he…

Vague Memories Of Being Ragefully Spanked A Lot

Can Dissociation Lead To Unwanted Suicide? —

Can Dissociation Lead To Unwanted Suicide?

I've had really intense Suicidal ideation this week, and I've gone down dark paths before, so I sought help and took a bunch of preventative actions. My therapist and I set up an appointment for today, but she hurt her back right before it and is on her way to a doctor.

I'm feeling a little bit unsupported. My group therapy facilitator saw my high suicidal ideation levels in my responses to the weekly survey and suggested I give my medications to someone. I went over to my boyfriend's, and…

Can Dissociation Lead To Unwanted Suicide?

Suppose This Falls Under Employment —

Suppose This Falls Under Employment

Hi,

I've posted on this site from time to time, I never really know the best category for my topics, this one does involve employment (though it involves other things too). I cant seem to find an employment situation that doesn't make me feel guilty or Depressed.

I have a degree in counseling and music therapy. I worked as a counselor for all of 2 days before I was very heavily triggered and ended up self harming for the first time in years. I shouldn't be too surprised about that…

Suppose This Falls Under Employment